If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
