You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
