She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
