Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
