They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
