once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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