Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
