i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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