I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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