Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize