So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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