I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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