how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
