he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize