dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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