I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I am naked and annoyed.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
