So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Randomize
