and i looked up. we had an audience...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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