I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
