We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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