you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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