No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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