my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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