1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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