Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
