Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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