did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
