Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just invented taco cereal.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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