ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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