I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
