Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
