If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
