she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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