Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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