bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
