we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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