So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
