thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
