Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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