is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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