dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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