If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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