My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
