Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
tell me about the fingering
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