Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
40s are totally the cure
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize