some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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