That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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