I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
