1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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