id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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