went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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