I should be sponsored by Trojan
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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