yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
