mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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