Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"

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(361): View more from Texas

Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.

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(636): View more from Missouri

I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.

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(207): View more from Maine

I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.

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(801): View more from Utah

First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.

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(518): View more from New York

Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.

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(775): View more from Nevada

We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..

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