What did we do last night that was yellow?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize