As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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