Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
