I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
wow bdsm is so cute
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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