After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize