I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
