Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize