That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
