I'm eating all of the evidence.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
