you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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