Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
