well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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