Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
