Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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