I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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