I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
