Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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