Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My pussy is not your playground.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
