she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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