'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
areolas are like halos for boobs.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
