I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
