69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
